Why Castro Should Retire

We just can’t help it. When Cubans are down, we have to kick them. For their own good. That’s what we did after the fall of the Soviet Union in the early nineties. Not a very heroic or patriotic act on our part, but when the Cubans were the hungriest, we turned up the heat on the embargo. It was for their own good, of course.

The writing’s on the wall. One of these days Fidel Castro will die. The embarrassing part of his death will be the reaction across the lake.

Some will act as if Castro’s natural death is a victory, when, in fact, the opposite is true. The real story will be our actions. Will we activate a plan that allows for a military takeover of the island? We’ve developed enough such plans over the past half century (some of them have been declassified) but the current administration is on record as not going in for all that… “planning stuff. ”

How about if just after Castro dies “Cubans” begin to attack the military base in Guantánamo? We’ll have to take military action then. For their own good.

What if they suddenly begin to produce biological weapons for our enemies to use against us?

Even worse, what if they form an alliance with the Cylons? See where I’m going? No telling what those wild Cubans will do after El Jefe is not there to control them. We’ll have to show them what to do.

That’s why it makes sense that Castro should retire now, or soon, and avoid the stress to the country of his death in office, and the fireworks and aggressive nuttiness that his death would inspire.

Once he retires, Castro can serve as an advisor, write his memoirs, teach, host a talk show on Cuban TV (The Fidel Castro Beisbol Hour), and let Alarcon, Lage, and others take care of things.

This, of course, would give us Norte Americanos the chance to “learn” that there are more than 11 million Cubans on the island aside from the Castro brothers. Many will be very surprised by this.

Peace.